Who am I? A Full Time Artist … In My Heart
Do you have a job considered non-creative to support your family and pay the bills? Do you hear that little voice inside your head or real voices from your immediate family or friends telling you “You are not a musician, you’re not an artist, you don’t do that full time, it’s just a hobby, it will pass…”
Well I do, and being over 50, let me tell you that tinnitus doesn’t make the voices disappear. However, I have been much better at managing them and the imposter syndrome, that lingering feeling that I don’t belong or that I’m a fraud. Anything along these lines is BS…and deep inside you know it!
Let me tell you a story.
Last summer I was in Nashville with my wife. She is a business coach and attended a conference, so I tagged along. I was not going to miss an opportunity to visit the music city, are you kidding?
On an Uber drive to the restaurant, I was asked by one of the other coaches “So, what do you do?”
Until then, including that day, I always gave a convoluted answer. “I’m in facilities and project management, blah, I’m a team lead, blah, we push paper, blah … Usually ending with “But I’m also a songwriter and I gig around performing covers and my original songs”.
The coach fired back at me without blinking an eye “Lead with that!!”. As in, “No one cares about the other boring stuff dude”.
Suddenly, I was allowed to introduce myself as a musician, and an artist, and i was ok. Far better than ok. It was liberating. And I have not looked back since then.
When people ask me what I do now? I tell them that I’m a musician and leave it at that. And I feel good about it. Because this is who I am and what I am passionate about. I don’t run dry talking about music and art in general!
Deep in my heart and down to the bone, I know I’m an artist. I always knew. But, in society, there seems to be guilt and fear of judgment to admit it, especially when surrounded by successful people in the corporate or business world but also sometimes with family and friends.
So if you are reading this and recognize yourself in what I described, you are not alone, you are not an imposter, and you are not a fraud. Embrace who you are as soon as you can. Keep your job, support yourself and your family but don’t waste another day denying your truth. Because you too are an artist full time … in your heart.